I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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