only if we run a train.
done.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Couch. On fire.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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