then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
