I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
