You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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