what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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