I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
