please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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