Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
You can't special order awesome
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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