Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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