I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
