Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
