his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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