Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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