things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
