I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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