Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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