and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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