Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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