Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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