I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
