The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I am one with the molecules
Please don't give away my fajitas
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
