i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
