Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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