my vag is so smooth its legendary
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
