i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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