Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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