Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
