Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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