just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I want her autograph on my taint
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
