I got chris browned last night
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
