Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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