Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Your penis caused this!
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