idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
