I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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