No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
