He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Randomize
