i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
