Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Can I color on your dick again?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
