I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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