he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
