Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
as a side note pls kill me
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
