her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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