susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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