marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
