I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
