you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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