Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
