Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
