my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
