She's JV to your varsity
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
